Photo: @tx_shooter
With the highly anticipated Four Hour Body coming out soon, I thought it would be a great opportunity to talk about probably the most important factor in staying sane and motivated.
It's something that keeps a lot of people going regardless of where they're at or how crappy and down they might be feeling.
Exercise.
Back in high school, I was your average tall, skinny dude.
My notions of exercising consisted of developing the lung capacity to take a bigger bong hit and skateboarding on your private property like the little shit I was.
After I started college, something happened. A watershed moment in my life.
I was a bussboy (read: everyone's biatch) at Carrabba's Italian Grill.
I got into it with one of the cooks, a ginormous black guy who would surely have unscrewed my head from its socket with a flourish if he wasn't busy firing out orders for a dining room full of miserly gluttons.
He said something, I said something, and with the calm prelude to a volcanic eruption, my body started shuddering and possibly turning green.
Be scurred. Photo: @_Zahira_
Then…..BOOM!
Flipping out COMPLETELY, I threatened to beat the crap out of this wooly mammoth of a line cook.
I had clearly missed the exit to reality and was driving in a blind rage on the highway of utter lunacy.
I was beside myself with fury.
Fury towards the brobdingnagian cook.
Fury at my douchebag boss who was too busy doing lines in the bathroom to have a chat about moving me up to the only slightly-less ignominious position of server.
Fury at everything and everyone.
Some people go home from that kind of night and start an internet business.
Some people get drunk and wallow in life's iniquities.
Me – I went home and grabbed my dad's barbells.
And spittle flying from the corners of my mouth, my face distorted into a grimace of pain and rage, I hoisted those weights with pure abandon.
My wiry muscles knotted into tight balls of tension and my arms exploded with veins like rushing tributaries.
I threw the weights up one last, glorious time and collapsed under them in utter depletion.
Like the cheetah and the gazelle, it was unclear who outdid whom – I, the barbells or the barbells, me.
But I was no longer angry.
Only tired.
Ever since that day, exercise has taken on a huge role in my life.
It keeps me sane, healthy and sexy.
It's my secret productivity tool.
I even found a way to workout while living out of my car.
And it was like rocket fuel for my mood and optimism.
The consensus is in: exercise is one of the best things ever.
To your health!
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